Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
When did angry sex become our thing?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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