That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm passing your future prison.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
