I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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