I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
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white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
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Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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