capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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