Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
