I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize