so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
