I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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