u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
A+ Viking dick
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize