Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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