Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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