if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize