I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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