can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
