Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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