i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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