I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I looked at my own cervix.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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