Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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