My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I hope mine doesn't look like that
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
