The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
