I will die if light touches me.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize