You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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