"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
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I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
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He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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