so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
