With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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