take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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