im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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