i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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