I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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