i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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