butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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