Midget sex pt 2 tonight
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
