Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
