Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
