Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
