It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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