Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
