he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize