I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize