Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
