I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
