Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize