Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
