it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
