how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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