even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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