He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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