butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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