yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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