Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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