I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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