Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize