Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Randomize