well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Shame - the story of my life.
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