Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
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You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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