I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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