even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
