she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
