Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
