then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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