So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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